Only What Is Allowed to Feel Can Change
You need to be in a relationship with your feelings: with them, without being deeply buried in them. The first step is saying “hello”.
Big overlap with A Liberated Mind.
The Feeling About the Feeling
If you can’t focus on a feeling because of a feeling about the feeling, that second feeling becomes the new focus.
How to Do Focusing
- Set the stage. Decide what to work on, either something specific or whatever comes up. Then bring awareness into the body, between throat and abdomen, and ground yourself in physical experience.
- Feel what is there. When a sensation comes up, acknowledge it by saying hello and explore it. Look for a label and reflect it back to the sensation. Stay in the body instead of getting caught up in thinking about labels.
- Get to know the feeling. Sit with it and see if it evolves. Ask it questions like “Is there an emotion that comes with this?” or “What makes it so …?”
Don’t let the logical mind take over. Don’t ask why. No “I think” or “probably”.